Parents are all are faced with the challenge of keeping their children safe online and with the online world evolving rapidly each day, that task at times can seem daunting.
Parents are all are faced with the challenge of keeping their children safe online and with the online world evolving rapidly each day, that task at times can seem daunting.
Social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Bebo or My Space are some of the most popular among youth, allowing kids to create individual profiles, post updates, share pictures and build a global network of friends.
At the ITU TELECOM WORLD 2009 in Geneva, ICT Connector spoke with Rachel O' Donnell, Chair of the European Commission Social Networking Task Force and the Chief Security Officer of Bebo, which is currently one of the largest social networking sites. She shared nine important areas of information all parents should know about their children and social networking sites.
For the full video interview with O' Donnell, visit ictQATAR's YouTube channel.
1. Offline and Online - It's One World, Not Two
For a child who has grown up in the world of the Internet, there is really no clear distinction between their offline world and their e-world. No longer do they connect with friends just at school or over the phone, now it is constant, instant communications with many through social media. This turns social media into an informal, yet powerful environment where children acquire knowledge - both good and bad - at a rapid rate.
For many children today, says O' Donnell, the online world is just as real and important as their offline world. They build an important sense of identity through social networks. Children must be taught that there are real-world consequences to their online actions and parents must understand that online problems will translate into real world problems for their kids.
2. Understand Why Children are Vulnerable
Why are children so vulnerable online? Psychologists have spent a long time profiling at-risk young people to answer that question. Often an at-risk child can be someone with a mental health issue, whether acute or chronic. But often it is an ordinary child, with a well-functioning family, that is at risk. The child may be going through an issue at school, being bullied or excluded - which means they do need help and support.
Take O' Donnell's advice: Don't let appearances give you the wrong impression. Talk with your child and see if he or she is facing any issues at school. Again, real-world problems can easily make your child more vulnerable online as they turn to their online network for support.
3. Understand How a Vulnerable Child Thinks
As part of her studies, O' Donnell used to pose as a ten or twelve year old child online to explore and understand how children can become victims to online predators. "Oh, you're so lovely, you sound like a lovely person, can you send me a picture?" That would be the start of the conversation between the child and the predator, recalls O' Donnell. It would then develop to: "I feel like you're my soul mate, tell me what's bothering you, I will be there for you." And that's what the child would think is help, support and love - while in fact it isn't.
4. Your Kids Can & Should Report Abuse
Children who use social media sites need to be able to report easily if they encounter any exploitation or offense. On every single page on Bebo, there is a clear "report abuse" button where users can report incidents to the site's abuse management team.
The way the team then responds varies according to a set of policies and procedures. Depending on the severity of the offense, explains O' Donnell, the actions taken can be a warning to the offensive user that his or her actions have been reported and that his or her account would be deleted if the offensive behavior is repeated.
For more severe offensive activities, the social media site immediately deletes the account without a prior warning. For behaviors that are most abusive, Bebo works with the police on the investigative process and IP addresses are obtained to locate the offender.
Parents need to make sure you take the time to understand and examine a social media site's terms of use and safety guidelines, says O' Donnell. They need to know where the "report" feature resides and talk to their children so that they can understand when and why to use it.
5. Empowering Children is Not Just about Education and Awareness
One of the alarming facts is that most of today's mental health and social care organizations have no presence online, and are hence not accessible 24/7 to young people. To help children know which organization to resort to in which situations, Bebo created a "Be Well" platform, where all support organizations were encouraged to set up their online presence.
It is these platforms that create a fundamental shift in empowering youth, says O' Donnell, since it's not just about educating kids that there may be online predators and that they need to keep their passwords secure, but rather a holistic approach by ensuring children receive help in an early stage by the right experts. Take the time to check out the "Be Well" platform, by Bebo and learn more about how it helps kids remain safe online.
6. Make Sure You Trouble Shoot Cyber Bullying
We tend to think of cyber bullying differently than when looking at offline bullying. Anonymous and 24/7, for many cyber bullying seems less harmful. It's not about the platform however, explains O'Donnell, it's about the bullying act in itself. Whether online or offline, when a child is bullied, the impact lasts longer than just one or two hours.
O' Donnell believes parents need to teach their kids not only that online bullying is not acceptable, but also how important it is to apologize if they harm someone online. For most children, the pain is the same - whether online or in the real-world.
7. Be Aware of False Online Identities
Cyber safety experts always advise children not to give away their personal details to strangers, such as their name, age, or even personal photos. But with social networking, it is difficult to tell the difference between friends and strangers. It is common for children to make "virtual" and often these friendships rare genuine, stresses O' Donnell, but sometimes these friends are not who they say they are.
With this in mind, parents should talk with their children about what they post online and the privacy settings that are available to limit who sees that content. This was even the theme for the 2010 Safer Internet Day: Think Before You Post. (Read more about this year's Day)
8. Discuss the Internet with Your Kids
Parents recognize their kids access the Internet, but do they really understand what's on there? Go online and get to know more about the Internet. Parents need to consult a friend and even sit with their child and ask them the questions they have about the Internet.
An open line of communications between children and parents is crucial. In her experience, O' Donnell says the reason why kids who don't tell their parents about the negative things they encounter online is that they think their parents would simply "freak out and ban them from using the Internet". As a parent, explains O' Donnell, make sure your children feel that they can come and tell you about anything they face online and that your response is calm and supportive.
9. Don't Solely Rely on Filtering Software
It is insufficient to rely on a filtering solution to keep your kids safe online, open communication is more important. Filters are useful for very young children to make sure they are not shocked by inappropriate content. But nothing is more powerful than telling your child: "no matter what you see, no matter what you do, you can come and tell me. I will help you and support you," said O'Donnell.
ictQATAR is presenting useful guidelines on the various parental software solutions available to parents to keep their kids safe online. For more information, follow this link.
By: Mina Nagy Takla
